


heaven help us wounded souls

by Tobiko



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anti Ezria, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, the poly is slower built
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24907498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobiko/pseuds/Tobiko
Summary: Dollhouse AU. The Liars were stolen from their loved ones, taken from a prison van mid-transport by A and vanished into the night. One year later they escape their tormenters and return to the ones that were waiting for them with scars both physical and unseen. The villains may be gone but the fight goes on. (Hanna-centric with alternate POVs)
Relationships: Hanna Marin/Caleb Rivers, Spencer Hastings/Hanna Marin, Toby Cavanaugh/Spencer Hastings, Toby Cavanaugh/Spencer Hastings/Hanna Marin/Caleb Rivers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Four pairs of feet trampled through the dirt and twigs of the forest floor, a flight of pure desperation. Once every couple dozen feet one of the fleeing individuals tripped. They were always caught, buoyed onward by their companions, and the running would continue. Their unsteadiness was understandable given the circumstances: none of them had walked on anything but hard concrete and plush carpet in over a year and the dips and bumps present in a natural forest floor threw their sense of balance for a loop. There was also the weakness of all four of them in consideration. Routinely starved and unwatered, the quick bites of food and drinks of water before they left their prison only helped give them energy for their escape and did nothing to revitalize their bodies.

The smallest of the four tripped and this time landed on her knees. All three of her companions turned and all started to reach for her.

“I- I can’t,” the girl whimpered.

Two of her friends flinched back but the third, the one who had been in the lead, reached down and pulled her to her feet. “You can. We’re almost there, Aria.”

“You don’t know that!” Aria exclaimed, voice near tears. It was always near tears, had been for months now.

“I  _ do _ .”

One of the girls turned to look back the way they’d come. “We have to be. How much longer do you think-”

“Mona will be okay, Hanna. We’ll find someone and we’ll tell them where to go. She’ll get help.”

“I don’t even know where the bunker was now…”

“Five thousand, two hundred and four steps north-”

“Of course  _ you _ know,” Hanna said, smiling tightly. “Still Spencer Hastings, after everything.”

Spencer still held Aria up, Aria leaning heavily into Spencer even though Spencer was just as thin and malnourished as her tiny friend. Their last friend, Emily, stood off to the side with her arms wrapped around herself. 

Hanna kept looking back the way they had come. They had left Mona back in the bunker that had been their prison because Mona had barely been able to walk on her own. Cece had left her in the hole for a week and Mona was already so thin…

“Come on,” Hanna said. “We have to keep going. Spencer says we’re close, so we’re close.”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Emily whispered. “Just like she always said. The middle of nowhere and no one for miles in any direction. We’ll die before we find anything.”

“I’d rather die out here than in there,” Hanna snapped. Emily flinched again and Hanna felt a twinge of that old guilt, muted and tired from all of the guilt she held inside of her from the things she had done and said in all of their time in the Dollhouse. “Better to be in the world again and die under the stars,” she said, trying to gentle her voice.

“Our bodies will be found,” Aria said. “Our families will finally know what happened to us.”

“We are not dying,” Spencer said fiercely, partially shoving Aria off of her so that Aria had to stand on her fawn-weak legs. “We’re going back to our families, we  _ did _ the hard part. If you give up now, I swear to fucking GOD-”

“I’m not,” Hanna said, turning fully to face Spencer. “You said we’re almost there. So we are.”

Spencer nodded shortly, her chest tightening at Hanna’s faith. Spencer was just repeating that because she had to believe it for all of them.

Spencer took Aria’s hand, feeling bad she had shoved Aria away to get the girl to stand on her own two feet again. “Let’s go.” Spencer gave Hanna a look. Hanna turned and took off running, in the lead now with Emily only inches behind. Spencer pulled Aria along behind her, keeping Aria on her feet as she did.

It took another half hour of running, hope slipping from their hearts, until the ground under them suddenly changed from woods to asphalt in the darkness of the night and Hanna flew forward at the change, slamming face first into the road and scraping her right elbow and cheek raw. She yelped briefly before biting down on her lip hard, instinct telling her to  _ shut up, shut up, Cece liked when they screamed _ -

“Hanna!” Emily and Spencer yelled in unison.

“I’m fine,” Hanna grit out as she got to her feet. Emily put a hand on her arm, briefly, a butterfly flutter of contact before she stepped back. Emily had barely touched any of them in ages, so the contact filled Hanna with a flood of warmth and love. “You good, Em?”

“I managed to stop myself before tripping.”

Spencer let Aria’s hand go to pull Hanna toward her, examining her cheek and arm in the dim light the crescent moon provided. “You’re bleeding.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Hanna said.

Spencer gave Hanna’s uninjured cheek a small, sharp pat. Hanna shut her mouth. She got the message, Spencer didn’t want her being glib about being hurt. It was never Spencer’s favorite thing.

“We made it,” Aria said from where she’d wandered forward, huge eyes drinking in the sight of the road. “We actually made it.”

“Now we just have to wait for someone to drive by. Wave them down, have them call the police, put a marker here so I know where to start with giving directions back to the bunker.” Spencer gave Hanna’s hand a quick squeeze before she started to gather rocks and already start marking off the place she had emerged from the woods. Emily started to help her while Aria floated closer to Hanna and started to fuss over Hanna’s scrapes. Hanna let Aria mother her; when Aria could act as caregiver it was the most Aria she was, allowing her to focus on others rather than the hurt and grief that swallowed up her thoughts.

Their wait was longer than their run. The girls wound up sitting in the cold night air for hours, huddled together with Aria and Hanna glued to Spencer’s sides and Emily sitting centimeters away from touching Hanna, close enough to get warmth from her friends. Every so often Hanna would reach out and tap Emily’s hand where it sat so close, letting her know that if she wanted to lean on Hanna she could. After a few hours of shivering, Emily pressed herself against Hanna. Hanna immediately wrapped her arms around Emily and Spencer and Aria moved in, surrounding Emily in a group huddle. Emily shivered in the middle, and it wasn’t all from cold.

The first rays of sunlight were peeking over the horizon when the car came.

Perhaps luck was in their favor after all. In the dead of night a car could have run over them sooner than see their attempts to wave them down.

As it was when all four girls ran straight into the road the car stopped over fifty feet away from them. A surprised, bleary-eyed man got out of his car and demanded to know what was going on.

Spencer stepped forward. “I’m Spencer Hastings and these are my friends Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, and Emily Fields. I think if you call the cops you’ll find they’re looking for us.”

.

Caleb Rivers had been waiting for the call for one year, three weeks, and five days when it finally came. It was so early it woke him but as ever he jumped to attention when a call he wasn’t expected came in, grabbing the phone before the third ring.

“Hello?” He asked, so alert no one would suspect he had woken up seconds before.

“It’s them, Caleb, it’s them.”

He was out the door before Toby could finish.


	2. Chapter 2

Caleb got to the hospital waiting room second. He was only behind Toby, the first to find out. As soon as Caleb saw Toby he threw himself into the other boy’s arms, sobbing into Toby’s chest. He didn’t have to ask for Toby to tell him everything he knew as Toby launched into the tale of the girls escaping from A (Cece Drake with helpers Sara Harvey and Noel Kahn) and appearing on the side of the road just that morning.

“Aria and Emily are here. Apparently Spencer and Hanna insisted on leading some EMTs back to the bunker to get Mona. They still aren’t here yet but they’ll be brought in for treatment as soon as they-”

“Toby!”

The familiar shriek of Mrs. Hastings pulled the boys apart as Veronica and Peter arrived, demanding to know where their daughter was.

The others arrived within minutes of each other. Ashley collapsed into Caleb when she arrived, pulling him down with her into a hard plastic hospital chair as she sobbed and sobbed against him. Caleb watched Toby steel himself into a solid object as he felt himself doing the same for Ashley. They had to hold up against the waves of emotions now, for the sake of the families that had lost their daughters for an entire year.

Ali showed up last.

She was alone, pale and nervous and quiet. Caleb noticed her first and wondered idly who had called her. It hadn’t been him. Certainly it hadn’t been any of the parents. They all blamed Ali for what had happened to their girls. Caleb and Toby didn’t often see the young Dilaurentis and had only offhandedly spoken to her about their ongoing search for their lost loves and friends. There had been a moment, toward the beginning, where they had teamed up with Ali to try to lure A out of hiding. Nothing had come of it, however, and it was too painful for Caleb to see Ali free and alive when he didn’t know where Hanna was or what could possibly be happening to her.

Ali had been alone in her house for the better part of a year, a hermit in a town that turned and whispered whenever they saw her.

Caleb almost felt sorry for her. Thoughts of Hanna pushed that from his mind.

One by one the others noticed Ali, but none of them approached her and none of the din of their overlapping voices and cries were directed her way.

The chatter and yells for answers continued on and nearly drowned out the arrival of a doctor as he exited the ER doors and said in a haggard voice, “The other girls have arrived. They’re being checked for-”

Caleb didn’t wait, shoulder checking the doctor to push past him as Toby yelled after him, “Caleb, wait, you shouldn’t-”

Caleb ignored him and ran.

It was luck more than anything that allowed for him a clear path to see a good portion of the beds. In an instant he was able to absorb Aria curled up in a tight ball, ignoring the doctors trying to hook her up to an IV and wailing at the top of her lungs, Emily yelling from another bed for the nurses to back off Aria, Spencer standing by and slightly behind a rolling bed and watching everyone with too-alert, sunken eyes, her posture defensive, and-

Hanna was fighting a nurse who was trying to get her to lay down on a bed, spitting and snarling, her cheek scraped red with dried blood and cursing every word under the sun. “Where’s my fucking mom? I want to see my mom, I want to see-”

“HANNA!”

Hanna’s eyes snapped to his, the same brilliant blue of his dreams, here wild and frightened. He rushed forward and Hanna leapt clear off her bed to meet him. She crashed into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and clinging to him so hard his ribs ached. “Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.” She repeated.

“I’ve got you,” Caleb said, tears falling into the mess of her golden hair. “I’ve got you.”

“Never let me go,” she said into his neck.

“Never. Never, never.”

But hands grabbed him from behind and Hanna from all sides, wrenching them apart. “NO!” She shrieked and it broke his heart. He fought to grab her again, grab her and run, but security had him and was dragging him away. He had never been a fighter no matter how he wished he had been, and he lost ground even as he strained with everything he had and watched as Hanna screamed and screamed until her face was red to match the injury on her cheek. Aria was screaming louder as Emily and Spencer launched themselves at the people pulling Hanna. Even through his rage he was shocked as Emily and Spencer scratched and pulled and bit with the frenzy of wild cats.

More orderlies rushed in, brandishing needles.

That was the last he saw of the chaos before he was pulled out through another door that did not lead to the waiting room, through hallways and out of the hospital. Handcuffs shackled his hands behind his back and he was shoved into the back of a cop car.

For what felt like ages he was left there. The security that had pulled him out had left to reenter the hospital and Caleb was left alone to bang his head on the window and try to break his hands in an effort to pull himself free. 

When Toby’s face finally appeared in the window, Caleb was bleeding from his forehead and had almost managed to wrestle his hands around his ankles.

“Fuck, man.” Toby said as he unlocked Caleb. Caleb rubbed his wrists and looked away. He had failed Hanna, failed her so spectacularly that she was probably knocked out cold by sedatives now. The idea of her shackled to her bed to keep her put knocked the wind out of him, and it was  _ his fault _ .

“I told you not to  _ do _ that,” Toby said. Caleb could tell that Toby was  _ furious _ with him. Furious, and tired, and sad. “We have no idea what they’re going to be like right now, so soon after they escaped. They can’t handle us just running in there no matter how much we want to. Do you think I  _ didn’t  _ want to run in there and grab Spencer?”

“I know you did…” Caleb said softly.

“Now they’re on lockdown. All of them. Only their parents can go in, not even siblings. They all had to be  _ sedated _ , Caleb! Fuck.”

Caleb put his head in his hands, pulling at his hair. He couldn’t say anything. Horror and guilt tore at his insides.

There was silence for a few minutes. Then Toby put his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “I understand. I’m mad, but I would have done the same if I hadn’t given this some thought on the drive here.

You’re banned from the hospital for now. Ms. Marin is already fighting it. She said as far as she’s concerned you have permission to see her daughter whenever you want. Unfortunately it’s not up to her now, not completely. The hospital personnel are between pressing charges and feeling sorry for you because of the circumstances. I’d give it some time. Want me to drive you home?”

“No.” Caleb stood on shaky legs. “If I can’t go in… I’ll wait out front. Until they let me in again.”

Toby was not at all surprised by Caleb’s choice. He nodded and walked with Caleb around to the front of the hospital. Caleb sat down on a bench, elbows on his knees and hands clasped in front of him.

“I’ll be in the waiting room. Give me a call if you need anything. Whatever you need, Caleb, promise me.”

“I need Hanna,” Caleb replied.

“I know.”

.

Toby sat as close to the ER door as he could manage, watching it like a hawk. In stark contrast Ali sat as close to the exit door as she could, looking all the world as if she was going to bolt at any second. Toby couldn’t blame her but he wasn’t about to offer any words of assurance that she was wanted. He knew the girls would want Ali there but  _ he _ didn’t. He still looked at her and saw the girl who had caused so much damage, sent him to juvie and threatened him with knowledge of what Jenna did to him. Maybe  _ she _ had changed but that didn’t change the  _ memories _ .

As it was, only three people were in the waiting room as all the parents were visiting the girls. Their third compatriot was Mike, who preoccupied himself pacing a rivet into the hospital floor from nurse’s station to vending machine and back again. He was worried about his sister, of course, but he was also worried about Mona who had apparently been the most critical case of all the girls. Toby didn’t know the boy terribly well and wasn’t interested in trying to engage in talk.

Paige was in California. He had called her after the Caleb fiasco and told her that Emily was okay. Paige, in probably a healthy move on her part, had moved on with her life and was doing well in college. She was still in a group text with him and Caleb, but she had a new girlfriend and had gone to therapy to get over the loss of Emily. She’d asked Toby if she should come back and Toby had said no, not yet. If Emily asked for Paige, Toby would tell her. As it was, for Paige’s own health and Emily’s it was better for her to stay in school and come back for the holidays.

As for Ezra-

Ezra Fitz had driven himself off a cliff five months prior, drunk out of his gourd. He’d been drinking more and more heavily in his last few months, his hope for Aria’s return vanishing more with each glass. He was  _ gone _ before he had died. Toby had been friendly with Ezra if not actually friends and he’d gone to his funeral. In some ways, Ezra’s grief was more Toby’s friend than the former teacher had ever been. A familiar, unwelcome friend that had managed to kill Ezra and had threatened to do the same to Toby. He thanked God that he hadn’t let it and he was here for Spencer’s return and her journey to recovery.

Poor Aria.

Melissa Hastings was in Washington DC doing something or other in politics and had caught the first plane she could book. She’d been texting Veronica from the airport when Veronica and Peter had gone in to see Spencer. She would be back sometime today, but Toby wasn’t holding his breath for a long stay even with her baby sister returned from the dead.

Last Toby had heard Mona’s mom hadn’t been doing so well and had moved back in with her own parents. She was on her way now, as was Mona’s estranged father, but it would be a few hours yet until they arrived.

There was no one else coming.

That seemed just as much a tragedy to Toby as anything else. The girls, villainized and victimized by a town that would rather see them burn than return home safely, had no one else who gave a shit. People had moved on or never cared in the first place, even rooted for their downfall. It was cruelty to a new level. They were called liars and bitches but Toby had never met a group of girls so true to their loved ones, so strong and brave.

Even Mona deserved better than what Rosewood had done to her.

Toby spent time thinking as hard as he could, trying to call to mind people he could call. Friendly faces, good people, to be there waiting for girls who had been through hell and back, and he could think of none.

Maybe he should have asked Paige to come back after all.

“Mike.”

Mike looked at Toby vacantly. “Huh?”

“Does Aria have any friends we can call?”

“Friends?” Mike repeated, looking confused.

“Yeah. Friends… other than the ones in there with her.”

“Oh. Friends… I, um, no I don’t think…”

“Holden.”

Both boys turned to look at Ali, who was watching Toby with those unreadable, calculating eyes. “Holden Strauss. He’s posted on Aria’s Facebook wall almost every month since she went missing.”

“… thanks, Ali,” Toby said.

“Lucas, for Hanna.” Ali said. Toby’s skin crawled some, feeling as if Ali had read his mind. More likely she had just been thinking the same things. “Emily’s friends from Habitat for Humanity. One of them lives nearby. Her name is Zoe. We talked a few times… she didn’t have any bad opinion of me, so she talked to me without it being weird. Spencer is harder. I couldn’t find anybody… but I think she’ll be okay with just you, to be honest.”

“That’s all good to know. Thank you.”

“I can… I can reach out, if you think that’d help?” Ali asked. Tentative. Worried. Toby couldn’t figure her out. The real Ali had to lie somewhere between this anxious, deferring version and the one who had ruled the school with an iron fist.

“Yeah. That’d be great. Maybe not to Lucas, though.”

“Fair point,” Ali agreed. “You do Lucas. I’ve got the others.”

Toby nodded and turned back away from Ali. It was strange, collaborating with her again after their last failed attempt. This was still for the girls, so he would do it. He texted Lucas telling him about Hanna and then repocketed his phone and watched Mike begin to pace again.

It felt like an age before someone came back out. The first parents to emerge were the Hastings. That didn’t surprise Toby much. They were already on their phones talking to people about appropriate next steps and psychological evaluations. Veronica had the decency to shoot Toby a smile and hold up a finger as if to say, “I’ll come talk to you in a minute.” Toby doubted it would be so quick but he didn’t mind. He’d rather wait for the opportunity to see Spencer himself than have Veronica tell him what she looked like passed out and helpless.

Pam and Wayne Fields were next, talking to each other in hushed voices. Emily had been sedated as well so there wasn’t much to do until she woke up. Toby suspected that Wayne had convinced Pam to leave so they could start their own settling of affairs and taking care of their needs.

Byron Montgomery showed up looking ten years older than when he had gone in. Ella didn’t follow behind him. Toby guessed he wouldn’t see Ella anytime soon and he  _ knew _ he wouldn’t see Ashley Marin, not until she was kicked out. Of all the parents Toby had wound up seeing Ashley most. Caleb and Ashley were attached at the hip in their quest for Hanna’s return. Toby spent most of his free time helping Caleb out and had spent many an afternoon in the company of Caleb, Ashley, and anyone else who flitted in and out of the investigation. Once Toby and Caleb had seen Ezra every single day, but as he disappeared Ashley Marin had taken his place.

Toby watched the individual units slowly coalesce in the center of the waiting room and murmur amongst themselves. Finally, Veronica turned to Toby.

“I want you to hear this from me, Toby,” she said, focusing on him and ignoring Ali sitting by the door and Mike’s erratic, vacant trail. “There were three kidnappers, and they’re all dead.”

Toby’s stomach dropped. That meant-

“I’ve retained lawyers for all of the girls. Until further notice we aren’t going to talk to anyone about this. But I feel you have a right to know that the people who stole them aren’t a consideration anymore.”

Toby, speechless, just nodded. He could see, out of the corner of his eye, Ali’s face grow even paler and wondered what she was thinking. It seemed like an easy self defense case but he wasn’t going to talk about it if it hurt Spencer or the other girls in any way. Because no matter what the outcome, it meant that one of them had killed three people.


	3. Chapter 3

Hanna woke in the dark, the cloying smell of antiseptic and cleaner stagnant in the air, and she knew that something bad had happened to her or her friends and she’d been punished. Cece only used antiseptic if she’d done real damage and cleaner meant blood. How had she been hurt? Worse thoughts still, were her friends okay?

She wriggled her fingers and toes. Everything still there. Cece had threatened a few times to cut off something but she doubted Cece would ever go through with it. Her dolls had to be intact. Still, good to check. She tried to sit up and found her ankles and wrists were bound to the bed. Hanna closed her eyes, fear lancing through her, and she took a few deep breaths before trying again.

Still tied down.

Hanna let out a moaning sob and arched her back, trying in vain to sit up, to get off the bed. When that did nothing she screamed frustration and thrashed. Something was off. There were bars on her bed on either side. Had Cece moved her to a different room? She tried to focus and heard a beeping noise that matched her heartbeat.

A monitor?

It took longer than she’d have liked to remember the night previous. They had escaped. Cece was- And they had escaped and found help, rescued Mona and gone to the hospital and-

“Caleb!"

Hanna pulled against her restraints again and when they didn’t budge she screamed, flailing with all of her might and shaking the bed she was on hard enough she was afraid it would topple. Still nothing happened. Angry tears fell into her ears and hair and she screamed again. Why was this happening? They were supposed to be free. “Spencer! Caleb! Mom! Mommy!”

She was starting to panic now, the feeling creeping into her chest and up into her throat, ragged breathing becoming short. She was still trapped, she’d never be free, not ever, and _why_?

“Shhh, baby, stop.”

Through blurry tears she saw a figure in the doorframe. She tried to stop but she was crying too hard and the figure came into her room and placed a soft hand over her mouth for a second. “Sp-Spencer…” she managed to gasp.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. Give me a second to get you free. You have to stop screaming or they’ll come and put you under again.”

Hanna nodded desperately, gulping down her hiccuped crying, holding her breath to try to stop. Spencer smoothed Hanna’s hair out of her face before she began to undo the binding on Hanna’s right hand. As soon as it was free Hanna’s hand shot out and grabbed Spencer, trying to pull her close.

“Hanna, it’s okay, you gotta let go. I can’t get you out if you’re holding onto me like that.”

That made sense, but Hanna had to concentrate to force her hand to let go. As soon as she did Spencer went to her other side and undid her other wrist.

Not waiting for her ankles to be free, Hanna sat bolt upright and locked her arms around Spencer’s stomach, pulling her close and burying her face against Spencer’s hospital gown. Spencer continued to shush her and stroked one hand through Hanna’s hair while putting the other over Hanna’s mouth to quiet her as best she could. To an outsider, the gesture might look strange, but quieting each other was so commonplace now having Spencer’s hand over her mouth made Hanna feel comfort rather than fear.

“Let’s get those horrible things off your ankles now.”

Spencer began to work on one ankle and Hanna leaned down to do the other. As soon as Hanna was completely free she scrambled from the bed and into Spencer’s waiting arms. The girls clung to one another and against Hanna’s scalp Spencer whispered, “I’m so sorry I didn’t loosen them earlier, I should have for when you woke up. I should have made sure you could break free. I… I just-”

Hanna knew without Spencer having to say it and finished for her, “You didn’t want to get in trouble.”

Spencer looked away before nodding. It wasn’t trouble with the doctors or cops, but the ingrained fear of Cece’s wrath when one of the girls tried to help the other in any sort of way. Punishment was swift and brutal for both the helper and the one being helped. Better, most of the time, to not help and be there for comfort in the aftermath. Helping was only done if there was absolute certainty that no one would catch them.

Or when one of them was feeling particularly suicidal that day.

“I would have done the same thing,” Hanna assured Spencer. Spencer didn’t look any less guilty.

“The night shift seems to be pretty lazy, they haven’t done any rounds to check on us. Em is in Aria’s room and I’ve been trying to map the place out," Spencer explained as they started to sneak out into the hallway.

“How very Spencer of you.”

“It’s good to know your surroundings,” Spencer protested, a pout in her voice.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

Spencer nudged Hanna as they walked and Hanna allowed herself a grin.

Emily was asleep when they entered Aria’s room, curled against Aria and gripping her tight. Aria was awake and when she saw Spencer and Hanna she put a finger to her lips and pointed down at Em’s sleeping form. If Em had allowed herself to fall asleep hugging one of her friends they were going to let her sleep as long as possible. Emily needed the physical comfort more than any of them these days and she didn’t allow herself to get it. Hanna let herself have a private moment of cursing Cece and Sara Harvey to kingdom come.

Hanna and Spencer sat delicately on the end of Aria’s bed and Aria offered them both a wobbly smile. “I saw my parents,” Aria said. Hanna felt a pang of jealousy and squashed it quick.

“That’s amazing Aria.”

Aria smiled wide, the biggest smile any of them had seen on her face in months. “It was. My mom hugged me for, like, a whole half hour.”

“I’m surprised you mom let go at all,” Spencer joked. Aria beamed at that.

“Em got to see her mom and dad before they had to leave. She says her dad has been off duty for a while now. Honorable discharge?”

“Or some sort of bereavement leave,” Spencer supplied. She looked down at Emily and sighed. “If they thought Emily was dead by now.” Hanna squirmed uncomfortably and leaned into Spencer. The idea of their parents thinking they were dead...

“Was my mom here? Does anybody know?” Hanna asked. Her mom would be here if she could be, there was no doubt of that, but what if-

“She was here, I saw her,” Aria said quickly and Hanna immediately relaxed. “She left when my mom did.”

Spencer gave Hanna’s shoulders a squeeze. “And Caleb was here, and Toby too. I wasn’t awake when my parents were with me, but Aria and Em filled me in on the list they’d heard from their own parents.

“And Ali… Ali was here,” Aria said quietly, watching Hanna with big deer eyes.

Hanna went rigid against Spencer and she could feel Spence do much the same. Quiet reigned until Hanna finally said, “Well, that’s fun.”

“Do you think someone has told her yet?” Spencer looked from Aria to Hanna, face taut.

“Who would know who could tell her?”

“Mr. D, maybe?”

“Cece said he didn’t. Know.”

“Yeah well, Cece lied about a lot,” Hanna grumbled. “Who knows what was true and what wasn’t. Maybe she wasn’t even Ali’s sister to begin with.”

“There was a lot of convincing evidence,” Spencer said slowly. “Her playroom, the footage and the photos.”

“Could have been photoshopped,” Hanna said flippantly, though in truth she believed it just as much as Spencer did. Denying it made the thought of facing Ali easier, in the moment.

“Anyone else?” Spencer abruptly changed the subject back to their list of visitors, sensing that Hanna would continue to argue if they kept talking about Ali and Cece.

“Mike was here for me and Mona, but he couldn’t come in even though he’s family because of… well, cuz of Caleb.” Aria shot Hanna an apologetic look. Hanna’s head hung. She’d suspected that Caleb had been banished, but others too? Was it only their parents allowed in for now? That was so fucked up. Spencer should be allowed to see Toby, Aria her brother. Caleb rushing in was just about the first thing that had made sense in this god-awful hospital.

“Em said when her mom came back in to say goodbye she saw Lucas and Holden.”

“Holden your diaper buddy?”

“Yeah,” Aria said, looking just as perplexed as Hanna felt. “Seems like someone went down our friends list and started inviting people willynilly.”

“How many people do you think would come if our whole friends list got that invite,” Spencer said, a dark grin on her face. “Four? Five?”

“Lucas and Holden,” Hanna answered. The three girls burst into hysterical laughter. The idea that anyone other than family and romantic interests gave a shit that they were back was utterly ridiculous.

Still, Hanna felt a surge of giddy confusion at the thought that Lucas had come to the hospital to see if she was alright. That someone other than the expected cared what she had been through.

_ No one cares where you are, Hanna. No one loves you like  _ I _ love you. My precious little doll. _

A shiver ran down Hanna’s spine and she pressed hard into Spencer’s side. Spencer didn’t ask, just held her tighter.

“I heard the doctors talking. They’re keeping us for observation and apparently they’re worried about our weight and if we have a Vitamin D deficiency,” Spencer said softly. “Our parents can’t check us out even if they wanted to because we’re also on a 72 hour psych hold.”

“What about after the hold is up? They can’t just refuse to let us go with our families, right?” Aria asked, voice pitching high in a familiar, teary tone.

Spencer looked down at one of her hands, flexing her fingers open and shut, open and shut. “I don’t know… but the hospital will recommend that we stay… and I know my parents won’t want me appearing around town looking like a gaunt scarecrow. Better to keep me hidden away in here until I look more presentable.”

Hanna’s eyes widened in alarm. “No, they can’t do that. You aren’t staying in here.”

Spencer smiled bitterly. “I guarantee I am.”

“I… think my mom and dad will make me stay too,” Aria murmured. “My mom was… she was _really_ freaked out by how I look. She’s scared that I’ll stand up once and drop dead. I tried to tell her I’ll be fine, but when I started to explain that now I can get the right amount of sleep and food and everything else she started to cry and I had to shut up.”

“Stop it! You’re both going home, and so is Emily, and so am I!” Hanna started to yell. Emily stirred against Aria and Spencer put her hand over Hanna’s mouth. This time Hanna shoved Spencer away, hard, and she hopped off the bed and began to pace.

“I won’t stay here. I _won’t_!”

Aria had covered her ears and her face was growing paler by the second, her lips moving in a silent chant. Spencer was staring fixedly at the covers of Aria’s hospital bed. Hanna hadn’t meant to freak them out, but  _ she _ was freaked out and couldn’t stop the rising panic.

“What on earth are you doing in here?”

Hanna spun on her heel. An alarmed nurse stood at their doorway. “You can’t be in here, you’re supposed to be in separate rooms.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong, please just leave and we’ll-” Spencer started, but the nurse shook her head.

“How did you even manage to-”

“Get out of those fucked up restraints?” Hanna snarled. The nurse took a step back and Hanna wondered what she must think of them. Five missing girls returned from the dead, and three of them had attacked other nurses. Hanna sneered at the woman hatefully. “Is that part of your job? Tying down victims of kidnappings?”

“Phil!” The nurse yelled down the hall instead of answering and Hanna’s shoulders shot up and she bent her knees defensively.

“Han-”

Hanna looked at Spencer, who was staring at her with a tight, frustrated look. Hanna could tell that Spence knew what she was going to do and knew that she wouldn’t be able to say anything to stop her. Hanna silently apologized to Spencer in her head before she took off running, around the nurse and down the hallway as fast as her legs could carry her. Behind her she heard something smashing to the ground, yelling voices, and the horrible, familiar sound of Aria shrieking.

Hanna didn’t make it far. The hospital was an unfamiliar maze and she was too afraid of getting trapped in a room to duck into one to hide, which probably would have been the smart thing to do. Instead Hanna ran at a mad sprint until she was eventually intercepted by two security guards. Part of her had known she would be caught, but she had to try. There was a recognizable rhythm to escape attempt after escape attempt failing, almost comfortable in its predictability.

This time Hanna was wide awake when she was hauled off to her room and strapped down to the bed and she screamed her throat raw as they did. Somewhere in the hospital, far enough away that it was distant but close enough that she could tell who it was, the defiant and terrified screams of her friends answered her.


	4. Chapter 4

Hanna didn’t sleep. She spent all of her energy fighting the restraints until she couldn’t anymore and spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling and listing off the articles of clothing in the last Paris Fashion Week she’d been around to see. She had heaps upon heaps of ways to wile away the hours trapped in a room alone.

Cece had inflicted days of solitary confinement on the girls, for punishment or for fun. While the power outage affected their _room_ doors, there were a handful of Cece’s rooms that had old-fashioned deadbolts that didn’t unlock when the power failed. Cece would stick them in those rooms when she got truly pissed at them or thought the nightly three-minute visits were far too much socializing. Those rooms tended to be small, barely enough room for Spencer to lay down in, with nothing in them and a small slit on the floor for food and water. They were far enough away from their Dollhouse rooms that a trip there and back during the outage couldn’t be more than a quick bang on the door and a reassurance of love, and then it was a mad dash back to their rooms to avoid punishment themselves.

Comparably this was almost paradise. But Hanna was still tied down, still held against her will, still flashing back to that hell every moment. An extra cruelty designed to remind her that she would never be free.

Hanna swore and spat at every person who dared enter her room. They offered her water but nothing else when she drank the first three sips through a straw and shot the fourth sip straight at the nurse’s face. After that they hooked her up to an IV for fluids instead of offering her water.

She heard the nurses debating the merits of offering her food versus forcing a tube down her throat outside her doorway. Hanna was about to tell them where they could shove that tube when there was a burst of noise down the hallway as multiple overlapping voices began to get closer. There was one voice that tore through the rest like tissue paper to find her and immediately Hanna’s eyes filled with tears and she yelled, “MOM!”’

“HANNA!” Was the answering call and all at once her mom was in the doorway, then by her side, then on top of her and holding her so tight she couldn’t breath. But that was okay, it was okay because her mom was holding her and she could smell her perfume and the sticky wax smell of lipstick as her mom kissed her all over her face, got her hair in Hanna’s mouth, and they both cried and cried.

“Get these things off my daughter RIGHT NOW!” Ashley Marin yelled, already beginning the tricky process of unbuckling the hospital restraint closest to her with one hand as she wrapped her other arm around her daughter. Hanna wriggled in an attempt to hug her mother back but she was stuck tight. Still, when a nurse came seemingly to comply with her mom’s wishes Hanna tried her best to scratch what she could reach of their hands as they worked on the cloth trapping her wrist. “Hanna, stop,” her mom said softly, but Hanna ignored her and continued to do her best to hurt the nurse. “Hanna!”

Finally Hanna stilled her hand and with wary movements the nurse set her arm free. The second she did Hanna’s hand shot out, her fingernails digging into the wrist of the woman hard enough to leave marks.

“Hanna! Let go!” 

Hanna didn’t, a dead eyed glare on her face as she stared the nurse down. “Touch me again-” she started to threaten.

“Hanna!”

The call of alarm and fear from her mom made her heart stutter in her chest and she let go, attempting to take some skin with her. The nurse scuttled out of the room. When Hanna turned to look at her mother there was genuine fright in her face. “Why did you do that?”

Hanna looked down, more from frustration than shame. She wasn’t sure how to answer that question in a way that would make _sense_. Instead of answering she reached over to help her mom finish unbuckling her second wrist restraint and then threw her arms around her. That took all the questions out of Ashley’s mouth for the time being and the two Marins clung to each other with all their worth.

“Please, please can I come home?” Hanna begged.

“Of course, absolutely. The second I can take you.”

“You can’t take me now?”

Ashley flinched. That was answer enough but she explained, “They’re holding you for a seventy-two hour evaluation and according to the police there’s nothing I can do to contest it. Even Veronica is having trouble finding a loophole because of the nature of your case.”

“I don’t have a  _ case _ ,” Hanna said, holding onto her mother with one hand as she scooted down to undo an ankle. “I have a _mom_ to take me home, a _boyfriend_ waiting for me…” she paused, chewed on her lip, then finished, “…and a _life_ to get back to.”

“Unfortunately that’s not how the fine Rosewood PD sees it.”

“ _Unfortunately_ the fine Rosewood PD can kiss my-”

“Please be serious,” Ashley said softly. Hanna chanced a glance at her mother’s shining eyes. “I’m scared… You’re over eighteen now, I don’t know…” Ashley took in a deep, shuddering breath and then pulled Hanna tight to her and Hanna let her.

Right. There were three bodies to deal with in the bunker. An investigation. Maybe another trial. One or more of them could be going away for murder. They’d discussed it only briefly before making their break, and had decided that they would all say the same thing.

_ “I don’t remember.” _

The chances of them being caught were high no matter what they said. Cece and Noel taped _everything_. Cece had cameras set up in every room and Noel was always showing up with his stupid phone already set to take video. They loved documenting all the different torments they inflicted upon the girls.

But Hanna wasn’t going to implicate any of the girls for anything voluntarily and neither were any of the others.

It seemed like an open and shut case of self defense, but knowing Rosewood and how much it hated them there was no reason to believe it would be that simple.

Hanna didn’t want to think about that now and she’d go the rest of her life not talking about it if she could. That didn’t appear to be an option but she’d put off that conversation with the police as long as possible.

“When can Caleb come see me?” Hanna asked abruptly, changing the subject.

The pause told Hanna that Ashley didn’t know and wasn't sure how to tell her that. “Because of yesterday they’re just… holding off on letting him come around.”

“He got banned.” Hanna would rather her mother put it bluntly and not sugar coat, but she knew she was trying to protect Hanna’s feelings.

“I’m working on getting him entry. He deserves to be able to visit just as much as anyone, if not more. All the work he put into finding you he’s more than earned it.”

“Finding me…” Hanna had been told so many conflicting stories by Cece that she had never known what was true and what was fake. Caleb had forgotten her, Caleb had destroyed himself searching, Caleb had left Rosewood after renouncing her to anyone who would listen, Caleb was dead… That last one, at least, Hanna had never believed enough to put much stock into. The others were all close enough to realities she could picture that they had scrambled up in her mind. One day she would be sure he was over her and the next she could picture him banging his head against the wall at another dead end. “Caleb kept looking for us?” Hanna asked as casually as she could manage.

“Of course he did,” Ashley said, looking shocked that Hanna would even ask. “He loves you. He looked every day.”

Guilt gnawed at Hanna’s gut and she curled around that feeling, pulling her legs to her chest and tucking her chin to her knees. “Is he okay? He didn’t go crazy doing that?”  _ He shouldn’t have done that, not for me. _

“He’s fine. Happy you’re home and angry he can’t come in, and who could blame him for that? He’s waited for this for a year.”

Hanna hummed a non-response, leaning into her mother and wishing she would stop mentioning how long Caleb had waited because it made her feel equal parts guilty and thrilled.

“Currently only the parents are allowed in to see you girls, but Ella and Byron are already arguing for Mike to come in, and if Mike gets to come in and see Mona as well as Aria it would only be fair to let in others. Not Caleb, not yet, but Lucas is here to see you if you’d like.”

“Lucas came?” Hanna was surprised he’d shown up the day before, but a _second_ day? Why would he do that?

“Yes, first thing. He’s going to college now but he’s close enough that he drove back to see you.”

“He should have stayed at school.”

“Hanna,” Ashley sighed. She ran a hand through Hanna’s hair and Hanna leaned into the touch. Being touched by her mom, held and cared for and loved, it felt like a part of her was trying to fit back into place inside her soul.

Whenever her mom’s hand lost contact for even a second that piece of her vanished just as quickly.

“Lucas loves you. So many people love you. Regina is flying in this afternoon from Cabo. Caleb waited outside the hospital all day yesterday and he’s back again today.”

“And dad?” Hanna asked, a bitter smile growing on her face. “Too busy to bother?”

“ _No_ ,” Ashley said. It wasn’t as if Hanna’s bitterness towards her father was a new thing but this was a new version of it. The hatred and pain in her voice made the air heavy. “He was out of town when we got the call. He’s flying back from a business trip and should be landing within a few hours. I had hoped he’d be here when you woke, but-”

“But he probably went for the cheaper flight.”

Ashley let out a frustrated breath. Hanna could tell that she didn’t want to be arguing and Hanna could sense that weak spot, wanted to press it because it would make her mom uncomfortable, make her  _ hurt _ . She pulled away from that instinct and bit her lips closed.

“I don’t know how to make you understand that you mean  _ so much  _ to so many people, and you mean the _world_ to me. There is nothing that could have happened, that could have been done to you or that you did, that will change that you are loved beyond measure.”

Silent tears fell down Hanna’s cheeks and she wiped them away with shaking fingers. She had trouble meeting her mom’s gaze.

“… you can tell Lucas I’ll see him when they let him in.”

Ashley wound up climbing in bed with Hanna and Hanna spent an hour tracing the lines of her mom’s jacket with her fingers, memorizing the feel of the fabric, the pattern of the buttons, the way her mom’s chest rose and fell with every inhale. Her mom only left when Veronica Hastings popped her head into the room and asked to speak with her privately. Ashley kissed Hanna’s forehead and promised to be “just outside the doorway” but as soon as Hanna lost sight of her mom her chest tightened and she got out of bed and sat on the floor between the bed and a chair, ready to roll under the bedframe if anyone came in to try to grab her again. She considered grabbing something to use as a weapon and then decided against it. Better to have plausible deniability if she attacked someone and was questioned about it. She could say she had been startled. Harder to deny if she had a weapon already ready.

The hospital floor was cold linoleum polished to a shine that made it look wet at first glance. Hanna flexed her toes against the floor, wriggled her butt so it slid back and forth, and took a moment to revel in the new sensation of being somewhere  _ different _ . She had been confined to the same few rooms for a _year_. The same wallpaper, the same carpet, the same bed. The same empty, cavernous rooms they would wake up in to be tortured by mind games that resulted in pain both physical and mental. Hanna thought if she ever had to see that facsimile of her bedroom again she’d vomit all over the floor.

_New_ was a treasure even if it was this stupid hospital. She was in a hospital gown and already shivering on the freezing floor and she was _giddy_ with the feeling.

When Ashley came back and took in her daughter on the ground, hidden squarely between two pieces of furniture and curled up tight, all Hanna could think to do was give her the widest, most genuine grin.


	5. Chapter 5

As it turned out Veronica was furious, which Hanna remembered as a fairly common occurrence for Mrs. Hasting. Spencer had been re-restrained not once but twice in the nighttime after she’d broken out of her restraints  _ again _ and spent a good half hour trying to dismantle the restraint system on her bed. After they’d pinned her down a third time they’d assigned a nurse to her room to watch her through the rest of the night and even  _ then  _ Spencer had managed to get one of her hands free and had thrown her pillow at the nurse before being knocked out by tranqs.

Hanna had laughed and laughed when she’d been told.

Veronica and Peter were talking about suing the hospital and had come to talk to Ashley because of Hanna’s own experience with being restrained. Spencer had told her parents everything that had transpired in the last 24 hours in exact detail. Veronica was sure they could get a settlement out of the hospital for mental damages. Ashley had been crying as she asked Hanna if all that Spencer had said was accurate and Hanna had confirmed it in a neutral, detached tone. The memory of her thwarted attempt at freedom left a bitter taste in her mouth and though Spencer’s minor victories made her laugh, the visual of Spencer fighting her restraints, screaming and defiant, was a familiar enough image to darken her thoughts.

“I want to see Spencer. And Emily and Aria and Mona. I haven’t seen Mona since they took her on the other ambulance and I don’t know if she’s even okay.” Hanna was only vaguely aware that she had interrupted something her mom was saying.

Ashley didn’t seem to mind. She stood and went out into the hallway, returning with a wheelchair. Hanna blanched. “What? I don’t need that.”

“You are skin and bones. If I could carry you, I would, but seeing as I can’t.”

“I can walk.”

“You can sit, too.”

Hanna glared but her mom stood there, a steely look on her face. It was more about her mom wanting to take care of her than Hanna needing the help. Hanna wanted to roll her eyes and ask her mom if she realized that Hanna was the one that was all fucked up, wouldn’t it be a good idea to just let her do what she wanted? Instead she sat down in the chair with a huff, crossing her arms in the clearest gesture of annoyance she could telegraph.

But when Ashley wheeled her around there was a nurse in the way.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Marin, Hanna can’t leave this room.”

“What? Why on Earth not?” Hanna could feel her mom continue to inch her forward, trying to pressure the woman into moving.

“Doctor’s orders. She’s to remain in her room and there will be no visits to the other girls.”

“I can’t see my friends?” Hanna was on her feet before her mom could stop her, stepping up to the woman and planting her feet. “Bullshit.”

“The doctors have decided it would be best if we can monitor you all to ascertain your current mental states as individuals rather than as a group. We think that knowing how to treat you one on one is crucial to your recovery.”

“I don’t give a single fuck what the doctors have decided. You aren’t keeping me from my  _ friends _ ,” Hanna snarled. She moved to push the woman out of her way but her mom grabbed her to stop her.

“Give me a minute to handle this, Han.” Hanna was prepared to ignore her mother when her mom’s firm grip on her shoulder pressed down and slowly pushed her back into the wheelchair. When Hanna looked up at her mother she was nearly blinded by the radiant fury on her face. Hanna shut her mouth.

“What is your name? Scratch that, I don’t need to know it. As I’ll be filing a complaint about every single nurse and doctor that works here, it won’t matter if I know it now. The level of unprofessionalism and callousness you have shown these girls borders on torture. These girls are victims of a  _ crime _ , ma’am, and you have treated them with the care and dignity of prisoners. They went through hell and back, and the one thing, the ONE THING, that they had to depend on was each other. They have survived because they could be there for one anothe, and they deserve to be able to continue to use that support system while they recover. Now, the suit will be filed there’s no doubt about that. The amount of complaints filed could be less. Or we could come for the whole farm. Do you understand me?”

Hanna smirked as she watched the nurse’s face pale. The woman still refused to budge until Ashley finished with, “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the Hastings. They’re  _ very _ good lawyers.”

The woman moved.

Hanna giggled into her fists as Ashley rolled her past.

Aria’s room was closest. When Hanna was feet from the doorway she jumped out of the wheelchair and, ignoring Ella and Byron sitting on either side of Aria’s bed, she jumped into Aria’s lap and pulled her close. Aria let out a startled laugh and hugged her back. The girls immediately started babbling at each other, words overlapping in a loud, breathless rush, but each girl caught every word the other said. They’d all learned to communicate fast and listen well when they’d only been given three minutes a night to talk to one another.

The parents stood back, not catching a single word. Byron looked vaguely concerned but both Ella and Ashley had tears of happiness in their eyes and they took a moment to squeeze each other by the hand.

“Mom! Can we go see the others?” Aria asked, turning to Ella with a hopeful gaze.

“Oh… well… If you feel that you’re up for it…”

Aria was already up and out of her bed halfway through the sentence.

Ella managed to wrangle Aria into a wheelchair of her own. They succeeded in squeezing the girls two abreast down the hallway as Hanna and Aria continued to chatter, the moms wheeling the girls as Byron trailed behind.

The next room was Spencer’s. Peter was out in the hallway on the phone and when he saw Aria and Hanna coming he started to take a step forward and put a hand out as if asking them to wait. Hanna and Aria both ignored him, hopping out of their chairs and weaving around him, a cacophony of voices filling the room in an instant as Aria and Hanna jumped on Spencer. Hanna planted a kiss on Spencer’s cheek and Aria noticed and began to talk louder and with more animation as Hanna whispered into Spencer’s ear. Spencer nodded and gave Hanna’s hand a squeeze. Hanna looked at Aria and gave her a brief smile, wordless communication getting across that Spencer was okay. Aria smiled brighter and her babble became less frantic and distracting.

“Girls, this is a lot of energy when Spencer should be resting,” Veronica said.

“They know exactly how I’m feeling, mom,” Spencer answered, holding her friends close. “They know what I can handle. We’re gonna go get Emily and go check on Mona.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea…”

“It’s fine,” Hanna said without looking at Veronica Hastings and she pulled Spencer by the hand to her wheelchair and plopped down into it, dragging Spencer into her lap as she did.

Spencer squeaked in alarm. “Han!”

“I have to ride in this wheelchair, you don’t get off so easy,” Hanna teased.

Ashley raised an eyebrow but kept her mouth shut.

The noise was constant after that as the girls and their parents travelled the halls. Other patients, nurses, and doctors all watched them go by but the girls only had eyes for each other as the three of them traveled to find their fourth. Mona was theirs as well, after a fashion, but it was different with Emily. Emily had  _ always _ been theirs.

Emily and her parents had heard them coming and Emily was sitting up in bed eagerly awaiting their arrival as the three others burst into her space. They ignored the bubble Emily had self-imposed around herself and squashed her between them. She laughed, elated and anxious all at once, and let them hold her.

“You were asleep last I saw you,” Hanna said.

“Yeah, and you were running out the door last I saw  _ you _ .” Emily gave Hanna an annoyed shake of her head.

“I had to try.”

“How’d you do?”

“Not bad. At least three hallways.”

Emily whistled, pretending to be impressed, and Spencer groaned. “Please, don’t encourage her.”

“But three whole hallways, Spence!”

“You’ll be the death of me.”

“Not as likely anymore.” It was a dark joke and it made Spencer scowl as Aria got a faraway glazed look to her eyes. Hanna swallowed the apology that grew in her throat.

Emily broke the tension by saying, “You need better jokes, Hanna.” The four of them laughed and it wasn’t entirely genuine but could easily trick an onlooker.

“Have… any of you seen Mona?” Hanna asked as the laughter subsided. The other three exchanged a look and Hanna’s stomach did a flip. They’d been awake before her the night before and had been able to have a talk. Mona hadn’t come up when Hanna had finally been able to join them and suddenly that seemed like ill omen. “Well?”

“No,” Emily finally said. “She was in more intensive care than us. I heard one of the nurses saying that she could have died within a few days with the level of malnourishment she suffered.”

Hanna scrutinized Emily’s face and decided she was being truthful. It could be hard to tell, which built jagged road bumps between them all, but they had to default to trusting one another or they’d go downright insane with wonder. “Do you know where she is?”

“Yeah, I found her on the floor above us.” Hanna wasn’t surprised it was Spencer who had gone hunting: she was the natural investigator. “Room 204, unless they’ve moved her. Do you want to go check?”

Hanna nodded, a short small nod that would have gone unnoticed by anyone but her friends. Spencer took her hand and they all started one last migration.

Pam fluttered around them anxiously when they began to move. “Where are you girls going?”

“To see Mona. Don’t worry, mom. I can take a wheelchair too if that would make you feel better?”

The offer seemed to ease Pam’s distress and she went to go find her daughter a wheelchair.

The resulting party making their way to the second floor consisted of the four girls and their assortment of parents, bringing the number to nine. They had to negotiate three wheelchairs into the elevator and Hanna with Spencer still riding along hung back to wait for the second elevator with their mothers and Spencer’s dad. Veronica and Ashley traded hushed words and Hanna perched her chin on Spencer’s shoulder, watching the blank look on Spencer’s face as Spencer tried to eavesdrop.

“Your mom is telling mine about yelling at a nurse,” Spencer intoned, voice low in her throat so that Hanna heard it more through her contact with Spencer’s shoulder than her voice in the air. “They tried to stop you leaving your room?”

Hanna hummed agreement and Spencer went quiet again for a few more seconds.

“My mom is talking about a lawsuit for malpractice. She thinks they’ll settle if we threaten to go to the press.”

The noise of distress that came from Hanna made Spencer’s eyes refocused and she looked down on her. “Don’t worry, Han. No press, my parents wouldn’t actually allow it. Us in the news? Not good for anyone. It would just be a threat. Promise.”

Hanna nodded into Spencer’s shoulder and Spencer let out a little hiss. “Pointy chin,” she teased. Hanna hid a smile against Spencer’s neck.

When they disembarked the elevator the others were waiting but so was a small group of hospital personnel. “You can’t all be wandering the hallways like this.”

A clamor of voices started all at once but Veronica used her lawyer voice to cut through the din. “We’re here to see Mona Vanderwaal. She came in with our daughters.”

“Mona Vanderwaal isn’t up for visitors at the moment. She needs peace and quiet to recover.”

If Spencer hadn’t been sitting on Hanna, there was no doubt Hanna would have tried to bum rush the room. As it was she squirmed in her seat and Spencer put her hands on each armrest and gripped them tight to keep Hanna put.

“Hanna?”

Leona Vanderwaal came stumbling out of a room, red faced and ghoulish in a mismatched outfit and slippers. She looked as if she hadn’t showered in weeks. When her eyes landed on Hanna, even hidden as she was under Spencer, her entire face scrunched and she began to wail. “Hanna!”

Instead of feeling encouraged Hanna shrank in her chair and locked her arms around Spencer’s waist, feeling the urge to curl up and hide. Hanna was prepared to see a comatose Mona, she was not prepared to see the ruin of her mother.

Leona tottered forward and the hospital staff parted before her, a sea of pitying faces. Hanna hid most of herself behind Spencer. For Spencer’s part she shielded Hanna from Leona’s gaze as best as possible, sitting up straighter on Hanna’s lap. Leona still came towards them and didn’t even hesitate in bending down to hug both Spencer and Hanna in a bone-crushing grip. “Thank you, thank you for saving my daughter,” she sobbed.

Hanna felt Spencer tense against her and Hanna herself felt like she was about to vomit. They had saved her, sure. They had also taken turns torturing her. Cece had made sure to make them all complicit in the horrors their friends went through. They had all sworn not to blame one another and that was one thing. Being thanked felt like a cruel joke.

“Leona, why don’t we give the girls a chance to see Mona, okay?” Ashley stepped in, pulling Leona off Spencer and Hanna. Leona nodded and cried against Ashley. Hanna met her mother’s eyes and Ashley jerked her head, a clear indicator to get moving.

Hanna and Spencer didn’t wait. Spencer was off Hanna in an instant, reaching back to grab Hanna’s hand and pull her along as the four girls used the path carved by Leona’s arrival to dash into Mona’s room. The protests were less, now that Leona had very clearly given them permission to go in, but Hanna didn’t miss the hostile looks shot their way.

Mona was unconscious. Her hair was thin and chopped barely past her ears so that the blonde wig Cece forced her to wear fit better. Cece had dyed Mona’s hair at first but when it had become too brittle from bleach and malnutrition Cece had shaved Mona’s head and fitted her with a wig. Her cheeks were hollow and there were bruising bags under her eyes. She was pale but less pale than she had been last Hanna had seen her which seemed like a good sign. Hanna leaned down and kissed Mona’s forehead. She didn’t wake, life wasn’t so fairy tale perfect, but it made Hanna feel better just the same when she stood and imagined the shadow of a smile on Mona's face.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Aria asked, her voice small. She reached out and took Mona’s hand briefly in her own. Of all the girls Hanna was the only one to have fully forgiven Mona for her role as A but they were bonded forever by their time in the Dollhouse.

“Mona’s stubborn and insane,” Spencer said. Hanna shot her a look as Emily snorted. “She’ll make it.”

“We should leave her something for when she wakes up,” Hanna said.

“A note?” Emily suggested.

“Yeah but...” Hanna trailed off, looking around. There wasn’t anything to leave. All of them wore hospital gowns and nothing else. They didn’t have keepsakes or personal items, they didn’t even have a sock to peel off and leave for her to let her know they’d been there. Hanna put a hand to her forehead and pressed, closing her eyes. “It was a stupid idea.”

“No it wasn’t,” Spencer said.

“It was sweet, really,” Emily rushed to reassure Hanna as well.

“Maybe…” Aria went to the clipboard by Mona’s bedside and looked for a blank piece of paper and pen. She pulled it all together as the other girls watched. Aria began to scribble in her loopy, elegant handwriting.

When Aria was done it was three words with space to write their names.

_ “We made it.” _


	6. Chapter 6

Eventually the four girls were herded back into their rooms. They were given carte blanche to see each other as they pleased with the stipulations that they needed to be in their rooms at scheduled doctors visits and while receiving visitors. That ruled out giant sleepovers with the family and friends but overall Hanna could stand that. She’d be seeking out her friends as soon as her mom left but while her mom was here maybe it was better to avoid her seeing how messed up they all were together. Individually it was potentially easier to hide.

After much grumbling and guffawing, they were allowed visitors other than their parents. Caleb was, sadly, still banned, but her mother assured her that she was still working on getting his rights to come back in reinstated. Mrs. Hastings was even helping with the appeal which was pretty nice of her considering Hanna wasn’t even sure Veronica knew Caleb. Maybe she just wanted to stick it to the hospital in any way that she could.

After some debate Hanna decided to see Lucas. She hadn’t wanted anyone to see her in such a sorry state, but better Lucas as a practice run when Hanna was still fairly certain of his friendship. They had suspected him so many times in the past of underhanded deeds, but every time it had been either disproven or circumstances not in his control.

Cece had used Lucas in some of her mental tortures, calling Hanna a bitch and a tease and lamenting Lucas’s poor, broken heart, but all of that had been fairly tame in comparison to so much of what Cece had done to her. Seeing Lucas wasn’t about to trigger any major trauma response and Hanna could use the friendly face.

In the year since Hanna had seen him Lucas had filled out some, grown more into himself. He was still nerdy looking but someone had given him some advice on wardrobe that he’d actually listened to and he looked more mature because of it. He had been growing out his facial hair and it looked good on him. His eyes were the same puppy dog brown and when they set on Hanna they teared up and he came toward her, stopping just short of the side of her bed. “Is it cool if I hug you?” he asked, and from him it didn’t sound like the pity she’d anticipated, but the same anxious Lucas he’d always been, eager to get a hug from the girl he loved.

“Yeah, go for it,” Hanna said. Caleb had gotten her first hug and her mom her second. She couldn’t think of a better person to give her third official freedom hug to.

He leaned in and when she put her arms around him she felt how solid he was and realized how fragile she must feel in comparison. An embarrassing thought. She pulled back and Lucas immediately let go, that same look on his face he always wore when he was feeling bashful around her. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” he said, and there was no doubting the sincerity in his voice.

“Same here,” Hanna replied. “Being kidnapped pretty much sucked.”

To his credit Lucas didn’t flinch at the joke, just gave her a sad smile.

They talked about Lucas, mostly, his time in college and some random Rosewood gossip he thought she might enjoy. There was some talk of Caleb but Hanna stopped that before it got much past a brief “he’s doing okay” because she wanted to hear from Caleb how he was doing, not from Lucas Gottesman. Hearing about Caleb from anyone else but him felt false in a way that was too Dollhouse for Hanna to handle.

But when Lucas thought no one was looking he pulled out and envelope and handed it to Hanna. Even a year later she knew the handwriting that spelled out her name on the front.

“I don’t want to get in trouble,” Lucas whispered sheepishly. “But he gave it to me out front and asked me to bring it to you.”

Hanna wordlessly put the letter under her pillow. As if nothing in particular had happened, she started to ask Lucas if he was seeing anyone new. He looked startled by her flawless slip into pretending nothing had happened but went with it. It was a skill Hanna had been honing for the last year and it was safe to say she had mastered it.

The letter sat, a secret treasure, under her pillow well past Lucas’s departure, past dinner with her mother, past the kiss and hug goodbye as visiting hours came to an end. Hanna didn’t sneak a peek or a touch, didn’t treat her pillow any differently than she had since arriving. She was good at keeping things hidden now more than ever. She even left it behind when she went to Spencer’s room and talked to the other girls about their days, nurses hovering just in earshot as they traded stories about their visitors. Every word was guarded, careful, and every three minutes the girls would pause, take stock of where they were, and resume from where they’d left off. All four girls had internal clocks programmed to the three-minute mark because of the bunker’s nightly power outage and they knew exactly how long three minutes was without even trying.

If any of the others realized that Hanna seemed distracted, they didn’t call attention to it. They pressed her to make sure she was talking as much as they were, instinctively shoring up patches to make sure nothing would look suspicious from an outside perspective.

Hanna wondered if they would ever be able to have a relaxed and honest conversation ever again. The thought was depressing and she leaned her head on Spencer’s shoulder.

Besides thoughts on the letter, Hanna wanted more than anything to hear how Spencer seeing Toby had gone. He was the only significant other who had visited, with Ezra being dead, Caleb banned, and Emily single when they went into the Dollhouse. But Spencer’s description of their first meeting was carefully crafted for listening ears and there was nothing about it that Hanna could glean besides the obvious: Spencer was  _ freaked out _ .

It was to be expected. Spencer could hold more emotions and thoughts in that head of hers than all of them put together. Hanna could guess at a fair number of them. A combination of euphoria, fear, guilt, love, giddiness, sadness, loneliness… the list could go on forever. With where they were and all they’d been through, Spencer couldn’t just throw her heart at Toby and let him walk with it out the door. It was too dangerous to do that. Spencer needed her heart and her head all in one place or else she’d fracture. She was already cracked and broken, held together by spit and willpower. They all were.

Hanna wanted to ask. She wanted to see the glow in Spencer’s eyes as she told the full truth of her reunion with Toby, feel Spencer’s happiness wash over her.

Instead, she held Spencer’s hand and traced secret circles in on her palm until it was time to go back to their rooms.

The lights never went out in the hospital but the activity slowed to a crawl in the halls that the girls were in. Nurses popped their heads in at rhythmic intervals, and after the fifth check Hanna had a basic understanding of their timing. She still hid under the covers as she pulled out the letter.

“ _ Dear Hanna, _

_ Writing to you feels wrong when all I want is to be there with you, telling you this in person while I hold you close and never let go. I have waited for you, Hanna, and I will wait for you just a little bit longer, but I want you to know that my heart is in there with you. _

_ I don’t regret running in and grabbing you and holding you the second you came into the hospital, but I regret that it’s preventing me from seeing you now. All I can give you right now is this letter and my words so that you know you are in my thoughts every second. _ ”

From there the letter went on, pages of it, all of Caleb’s thoughts and feelings about her return, his love written in ink as something that Hanna could hold while she couldn’t hold him. It was long and rambling with thoughts trailing off and fragments of sentences scattered throughout. Hanna cherished every word.

Hanna read it three times back to back and then found favorite bits and read those a fourth and fifth time. She held the pages she wasn’t reading tight to her chest, unwilling to let them out of her grip for even a second.

Her internal clock pinged, letting her know it was around a minute until power outage time. With delicate fingers Hanna put the letter back into the envelope and got out of bed. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and poked her head out the door. Seeing no one she took off running, bare feet silent and quick on the chilly linoleum.

She got to Spencer’s room a little under two minutes into outage time. Spencer was sitting bolt upright and Hanna could tell she too had been counting down the time, fiddling with her thin bed sheet and moving her lips as she spoke to herself. When she saw Hanna she relaxed a fraction and smiled. “Hey, you,” Spencer whispered. “Thought I might see someone.”

“Glad it’s me?” Hanna whispered back. She gave Spencer a wink and Spencer rolled her eyes.

There was less than a minute left of outage time and Hanna felt the familiar anxiety grip her chest, already turning to run back to her room before her door shut. “You don’t have to leave,” Spencer reminded Hanna. Hanna knew that, of  _ course _ she did, but…

“I know,” Hanna said. She turned back to Spencer and climbed into bed with her.

“Your feet are freezing!” Spencer complained, which only made Hanna make sure to rub them onto warmer parts of Spencer’s legs. Spencer squealed and then clamped her mouth shut, looking toward the door.

“We’re good,” Hanna reassured Spencer, though she had felt the same spike of anxiety at the noise level. Gingerly she pulled Caleb’s letter out from where she’d tucked it into her gown. “Caleb wrote me.”

Spencer’s entire face lit up and she looked eagerly down at the letter. “He did? How’d he get it to you? What does it say?”

“Lucas,” Hanna explained. She flicked one of the corners of the envelope, grinning. “Everything and nothing. It’s just… him. He just wrote and wrote, for  _ me _ .”

“Of course he did,” Spencer said. Hanna looked at her, anxiety and hope battling it out in her gut. Caleb still  _ loved _ her. He still did.

“Want to try for sleep?” Spencer asked. Hanna nodded and scooted closer. She put her forehead against Spencer’s and closed her eyes.

“Stay with me?”

“Always.”


End file.
